You don’t understand
And I can’t explain
‘Cause inside I’m terrified
Of spreading my pain

I’m standing inside
As you dance in the rain
One of us loves life
The other one just loves the pain

There are moments like this
When I think of that day
The day you were leaving,
But you turned just to say

That you don’t understand
How I waste every day
As if I’m too terrified
To find one single ray

You were my sunshine
Now you only see rain
One of us loved life
The other one clings to the pain


What are we supposed to do
When no one wants to do it?
We can’t just bite our tongues
And try to muddle through it,
It hasn’t yet begun;
Someone has to push.
But how can we begin our exodus
Without a burning bush?

My Captain

I remember all the little notes
He left around the ship;
The gentle love of which they spoke,
His most generous gift.

I remember all the little notes;
He wrote them all in rhyme,
And though he wrote no signature,
I knew the author every time.

I remember all his little notes,
And I remember still his name,
But he, I think, will never know
Why I truly came.

I remember all his little notes,
The ones he tucked away;
For I was sent to break his trust —
Instead, I ran away.


There is much I ought to do
But you excuse it in my meekness
Yet I don’t see myself the same as you —
I see it as a weakness

All the things I ought to do
They carry such a heaviness
But I’ve a light load compared to you
And I curse myself for weakness.


You don’t know where you’re going
And it scares me half to death
You think so little of me
You don’t know why I hold my breath
You’ve made it to the atmosphere
I can’t follow you through this
One of us can see the sun
The other one is Daedalus

You think you know where you’re going
But you scare me half to death
I’ve seen the path you’re walking
And what little will be left
You’re only reaching for the light
But you’re being blinded to the darkness
One of us suffers on
The other one is Icarus


Like so many rusted parts,
Our life just never starts;
And like so much ocean rain,
We stand nothing to gain.
But still we’re pressing on,
And still we’re not quite gone;
Yet like so many quiet embers,
We are dying to our tempers.


I’m supposed to be better
Your pride, your joy
And all the things you can’t do
Are supposed to be my quick employ

You were supposed to be better
His pride, his joy
But all the things you couldn’t do
Were just a mirror, and he saw a boy

So you tell me to be better
Because the pain never goes away
And everything that I can’t do
Is just a reminder we’re the same

But how can I be better
When in your eyes all I can see
Is the doubt you still retain
And though it’s his, it falls on me.

The Council of a Coward

I lost the words that I was seeking
And with them, any meaning
Of the cowardice that plagues me
And the meeting in my head

Of all my paltry virtues
And their tyrants, and the fortunes
Of failures that ever seek me
And the mistakes that keep them led

And the demons that I’m keeping
And every grim that does a reaping
And every chance that almost meets me
But then finds that I have fled

To a place worse than the last
A darker mirror of the past
Endless reflections staring back at me
Endlessly filling me with dread

But I find I cannot look away
(Or else will not — who can say?)
And the only thing that’s clear to me
Is the glass and what you said

That the choice is mine alone to make
The power, mine alone to take
But the only truth that stays with me
Is that when I broke the glass, I bled.

The Lie

All I feel now is the lie
My heart is filled with falsity
Telling me I’m angry
Never telling why

Somewhere is the truth
Anger is convenient
Despair the main ingredient
Mixed with sadness and youth

But truth carries the pain
And knowing doesn’t save me
When I know I’m going crazy
Because how could this be sane

But if this is my deceit
Then I could use a little crazy
Because the only thing to save me
Is to not admit defeat.