What’s this, that makes me laugh to trembles?
I feel it’s something I rarely know.
So often I exaggerate smiles;
Such a joy to just let go.
Something keeps me from connection;
A blame that only I can take.
I fear all I do is misdirection;
That everything I am is fake.
I’ve restrained myself without realizing,
Feeling some things just can’t be said;
Which seems to be most everything
That rolls around inside my head.
But how much worse to be stifled;
To feel always you’re alone.
How much worse to grow idled,
Detached from any life or home.
But to feel that you’re alive —
Even if you might just crash and burn?
I think I just might chance a dive,
If that’s something I can learn.