Recurring Regret

I’ve been dreaming of you again:
My bloodless sister, my long-lost friend.
We used to be as thick as thieves,
Until stealing away became my trend.

I’d caught anger and fallen ill;
And thinking quarantine was best,
I shut you out until you caught a chill
And decided to leave me to my rest.

But now I see you in my dreams
And in them, we are friends again;
But in waking up, I recall the years,
And I only want to sleep again.

14 thoughts on “Recurring Regret

    1. Isn’t it, though? The cynic in me says that all relationships are built on equivalent exchange, and I can’t deny it. I am barely a person; I have nothing to offer but pain and disappointment — so why bother? It doesn’t help that thinking about it makes me cry for the next hour, and that the few times I actually have tried reaching out, nothing really came of it. There was always some miscommunication, so I’d wait for someone else to make the next move, but nothing ever happened. They have lives. I don’t. I should probably just accept that. And yet, here I am again…

      Sorry. Explaining things to someone else helps me make them make sense.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, and you should bundle them up and publish them. You should look into it Rachel … but not now, not during the pandemic. I follow a blind woman in the UK who began a blog here on WordPress when she got a seeing eye dog. She is a counselor at a school (elementary school) and her eyesight was failing so that she lost her independence of taking the bus to her job and shopping, things like that. So she applied for a guide dog and after a long wait got one – it is a Labradoodle. She wrote very funny posts about life with Munch. And someone approached her about collecting the blog posts and making them into a book. She did that in the Fall of 2019 and did some press releases beforehand and a few book signings … she enjoyed doing this a lot and still has her job, etc. but always has Munch at her side. I find it amazing – Zena has a machine which somehow reads posts and she comments on them and does her own posts … I’m guessing she uses some type of speech recognition software that translates onto the screen. I went onto her site and this is the one-year anniversary post about her book … again, a collection of blog posts about her adventures with Munch:

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Interesting blog! Thanks for the link and the description.

          As for following in her footsteps and publishing a collection of my writings… Well, that would take money and a fair amount of time, and I don’t even know how I’d go about beginning. But who knows? Maybe one day. First, I think some more experiences, a higher degree of social confidence, and maybe some spending money under my belt would be best before attempting an undertaking such as that.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. You’re welcome – Zena’s posts are pretty funny about Munch. He is mischievous sometimes but very loyal. She resisted getting a seeing eye dog for a long time as she said she was proud, didn’t need one … then decided to apply and it took awhile to get one. They are a perfect fit as she is a funny person and he has a lot of personality. I was amazed they would have a Labradoodle for a guide dog – I would think only German Shepherds or Golden Retrievers, so I was surprised. I agree with you that you would have to have some money to start this venture but keep it in the back of your head. There is a blogger I follow and she published a book of small stories she wrote – some were blog posts. Another blogger wrote a kid’s book. But Zena was my best example as she collected her blog posts to make a book.

            Liked by 1 person

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