The Council of a Coward

I lost the words that I was seeking
And with them, any meaning
Of the cowardice that plagues me
And the meeting in my head

Of all my paltry virtues
And their tyrants, and the fortunes
Of failures that ever seek me
And the mistakes that keep them led

And the demons that I’m keeping
And every grim that does a reaping
And every chance that almost meets me
But then finds that I have fled

To a place worse than the last
A darker mirror of the past
Endless reflections staring back at me
Endlessly filling me with dread

But I find I cannot look away
(Or else will not — who can say?)
And the only thing that’s clear to me
Is the glass and what you said

That the choice is mine alone to make
The power, mine alone to take
But the only truth that stays with me
Is that when I broke the glass, I bled.

13 thoughts on “The Council of a Coward

  1. So true, Rachel, that this situation arises from within, and thus, you have the power to make the decisions, the changes, which will mitigate it. Perhaps you will dismiss it, even. Eventually.

    You’ve crafted quite a few clever turns of phrase. Pity a sob (mixed with a sigh, a shout, and a moan) had to give them wings. Think of the awesome creativity such stylishness will empower in those happier times presently imagined.

    Please, Rachel, never conclude I don’t appreciate how you feel, let alone that I dismiss it. Your circumstances bring pity, and your struggle to overcome inspires admiration. I was where you are, several years ago, and I want to show you what helped me.

    Except, instead of waiting years, we’re doing double-time. The Cliff Notes version.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Most worthy, Rachel.

        If that were it, though, all you’d get would be a “Pity,” then I’d be on to wherever my notoriously short guy’s attention span would lead.

        Yet there’s so much more to you than that. The situation calls for pity, but inevitably amazement takes charge.

        I really would like you to meet the Rachel who visits my site and comments on it. I know you’ll really like her. One of these days we’ll have to set up a meeting.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh? Thanks, I think. And possibly sorry. I suppose I ought to have looked for the light and ended it on that note, but it wouldn’t have felt truthful to me, especially considering the subject matter.

      How’s it going, by the way?

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Glad to hear it, and that you’re doing okay. Busy is good. Well, sometimes.

          Eh, I’m well enough, so long as I’m not taking measurements. If I do, they usually come up short, and I wind up retreating even further from where I ought to be.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Rachel, beautifully written. but very dark. I am wishing for you a bright future. You are very talented and have a lot of potential. I think it is within your power to shape your future if you set your goals and work toward them. Never give up! ā¤ All the best!

    Liked by 1 person

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