There’s the heat, and there’s the cold
To be young, and to be old
There’s the ever nearing feeling
Of eternal isolation
There’s horror come of company
The unknown that you want from me
And the greater dread of knowing
All I could never give alone
There’s the day and there’s the night
There is wrong and there is right
And in the end it’s everything
That life meant me to be shown.
How I long to leave your shadow!
To be none but myself;
But so long as I am flawed and shallow,
It would be me and no one else.
Only cement ghosts
Haunting pathways and your mind
Are the signs of life
The dancing shadows,
Darkness keeping steady time;
My only safety.
I am a friend to monsters,
And so perhaps you’ll come to see:
If my friends are only monsters,
You can be no friend to me.
I see you happy and it kills me
I see you happy and I know
You never needed me
Who am I without you, though?
I’m miserable and you’ll never see
Would it kill you to know?
I only wanted you not to see
I never meant to go.
You think I’ll live and die alone
But I already have
You think I’ll never reach the world again
That doesn’t sound so bad
You think I’m capable of more
I think you’re more than wrong
Every test that’s come my way
Has disappointedly gone
You think to get me into shape
With a stencil and a knife
Well I truly am sorry, dear
But this is my life.
I feel a swell of pride
To see the woman you’ve become;
And the sting of my regret,
That you became her on your own.
I am alone of my own volition
Friendship contrary to my mission
To be, as much as one can be in a day,
Never in the way.
I cannot tell you not to feel
Or change what you believe is real
But I am not strong enough
To deal with the both of us.