I owe you everything
Yet still I Never fail to let you down I let you drift out of my mind Whenever you are not around I look back at my hated life And what can I feel but shame? No matter what you did or didn’t do You did nothing to deserve such pain.
Nothing’s tighter than the air between us
Your anger wrapped around my throat It’s not for me, yet everything Revolves around the things that make you choke
The rest of us are merely traitors
Stupid bitches on the sidelines Wish I could say you’re wrong, but We simply walk the edge of all you despise.
Sorry doesn’t make it even
When you can’t even make a reason out And your best excuse for treason Is that in finding any cause, you find a cause to doubt
The pressure’s unabated
The valves are all closed off The heart that once kept balance The mind’s kicked off the job
The tears would flow as needed
The anger would be cool Now everything converts to heat And fire has its rule.
I want to rage and boil
I want to drag you down I would rather be an ocean If it meant you’d feel how much I drown
I want to storm this placid beach
And tear the shifting castles down I would give up bumbled human speech If I could show how false your crown
I want to hiss and bubble over
I want to make you see But if we let our depths bring others lower We’d all live beneath the sea.
I am caught up in the whirlwind
Of the storm surrounding me Every word that goes unnoticed All the cruel, unspoken things There’s a thousand and one reasons For me to set this anger free Where it doesn’t mangle feelings Destroying all but tragedy Yet it’s made its home inside me And it dances round me, writhing And every thought is justifying What I most want not to be.
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
Let go of all your anger;
Its shadow makes an awful home. Remember what you should remember; Forgetting everything leaves just you, alone.
Don’t let fear become your object;
The world is scary, but has better prizes. I’m afraid I haven’t found one yet; But you’ll do better if you lose my vices.
The lines were never there;
Edges have always shifted. Suddenly I’m meant to care The difference between tortured and gifted.
Now the world is filled with monsters;
Now forgiveness is unwise. Where were those standards then, When I saw darkness in your eyes?
Right and wrong is clear no longer
We’re guilty, every one We snap and bite our silver tongues And hurt each other just for fun.
The fading lights clear the mist
Of old memories left behind Moments passed and best discarded Ancient griefs and wrath unguarded Terrors that need to exist Only in your mind.