I know well what I’m doing;
It doesn’t stop the descent.
Brick by brick I build the wall,
Content to dam it all
Because the only one that’s surely losing
Is exactly who I meant.
Time runs screaming
The moon, the only company I can stand
You think I’m downward leaning
Well, maybe I am
I feel every passing judgement
And I can give no blame
No one is responsible
So I stay alone with just my shame
I tread only in shallow waters;
It doesn’t take so much to drown,
And any deeper is just pretending
Anybody’s wanting me around.
My failures all are prepped for battle
Only I am running late
Questions, rules, and inane prattle
Will conquer me with one word — “wait.”
Nothing’s tighter than the air between us
Your anger wrapped around my throat
It’s not for me, yet everything
Revolves around the things that make you choke
The rest of us are merely traitors
Stupid bitches on the sidelines
Wish I could say you’re wrong, but
We simply walk the edge of all you despise.
A bad life never changes;
But it never will get worse.
Or so I always thought;
But life won’t accept blank pages,
And it will write its own verse.
I do not wake, I dare not toil
Trapped inside this mortal coil
If there’s reason, then I cannot see
What it might want to do with me
Holy shit, you made it;
Figured you’d die years ago,
A child till the end.
Tell me, how much did you grow?
Did you travel the full circle,
Or did you blaze your own trail?
Did you adapt to all the bullshit,
Painting faces and your nails?
Did you do just what you wanted?
Did you find out what it was?
Did you ever learn to love and trust
Or was it really a lost cause?
Is it worth it to keep going?
Ah, but you can’t answer back.
I can only hope that if you could, you might;
That you have the spine I lack.
I tell them that I’m trying;
How much of that’s a lie?
Passively I make an effort —
Oh surely, such a treasure —
While ignoring that we’re all dying
And there’s one caller I never can deny.
Blow, wind, blow
And carry me so far away
From all the troubles that I think I know
To the dreams that I just met today.