The Stage

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I have lived as half a person,
And still I don’t feel small enough:
The world is just too big,
And I can’t unexist enough
To go unnoticed on a stage
Packed with starless knights,
Never knowing where they’re going,
But always ready for the fights
That come to all who chose
And who continue choosing;
I am not one of those,
Yet in the spotlight I stand, losing.

Unshapable

You think I’ll live and die alone
But I already have
You think I’ll never reach the world again
That doesn’t sound so bad

You think I’m capable of more
I think you’re more than wrong
Every test that’s come my way
Has disappointedly gone

You think to get me into shape
With a stencil and a knife
Well I truly am sorry, dear
But this is my life.

Without a Trace

The world’s a terrifying place
I don’t wish to be seen
It’s just a chance for more disgrace
To fall short of everything

I don’t want to show my face
Or wake up from my dream
I want to disappear without a trace
So I can’t be less than what I seem

Sanctuary

There is shelter in the hours
The small ones in the morning
They hide me with their powers
From the watching and the warring

There is nothing to induce me
To cast off their kindly cloak
All that is awaiting
Is a wish I never woke.

Shapeshifter Rehab

“It’ll take time,” they tell me,
“To be yourself again.
Spending lifetimes shifting skins
Can take lifetimes to undo again.”
“You’ll be fine,” they tell me,
“You just don’t know it yet.”
But I’m still waiting for the day
They understand the pain
Of being who I’m asked to be:
A person who is no one yet.

Siege

All the questions cropping up
Of the futures that could be
They gather like an army
Far as the eye can see

The siege now here upon me
I tremble as they come
No walls can stand against them
That time, I fear, is done.