I can sit around for hours
Thinking, so I claim
But I can’t come to new conclusions
No matter how I wrack my brain
I can stare at all the flowers
And at their beauty exclaim
I could write odes in profusion
But how are things not still the same?
"When I am writing, I am trying to find out who I am…" –Maya Angelou
I can sit around for hours
Thinking, so I claim
But I can’t come to new conclusions
No matter how I wrack my brain
I can stare at all the flowers
And at their beauty exclaim
I could write odes in profusion
But how are things not still the same?
I have to focus
On the one thing I can do
There is no room in there for me
There is no room in there for you
No room for what I haven’t done
No room for what I should
No room for all I wouldn’t do
And now I never could
There is nothing but that one thing
Perhaps that isn’t true
But if I have to focus
It has to be on something I can do
I worry, if I write my soul,
There’s no one that would understand
And so, as if some ancient scroll,
I translate for my brave new land
But here, a word has lost its meaning
And there, a tune has lost its singing
And somewhere along the way has gone
The very thing that I wished put to song.
And yet, I worry, if I write my soul,
No one could ever understand
And maybe, the glass might be half full,
But that doesn’t mean it’s not half full of sand.
And, who could be that keen on drinking?
Better to reign as queen of over-thinking:
And decree instead of glasses, better a box,
And better still to double-check it locks.
I’m paralyzed:
The less I do
The more I come to be
Paralyzed;
What can I do?
How do I contend with me?
I’ve imagined each scenario,
Examined with a fine-tooth comb;
Will it be failure pronounced in stereo,
Or a fairytale until I’m home?
Will I be a disappointment?
A catatonic mess?
Will I choose “fool” for my employment,
Or will I dazzle and impress?
Will he be ashamed to claim relation?
Will the day ever even come?
Or will he rescind my invitation
Long before it’s said and done?
If I wrote, and only wrote,
Without stopping off to think,
Would it undo this little curse,
Or would it turn out only bleak?
Could I find words to keep writing?
Would it sound in ways of sense?
Or would I be swallowed down
By cursed diffidence?
Mirror, Mirror
I am not one who speaks a word:
I only repeat what I’ve heard,
And tell to those who’ve told me twice
“There’s more to this little thing called life!”
Disappointment
I know well my own perceptions;
Less if they are shared.
And so I keep to my own silence;
Best to be prepared.
I’ve tasted the fruit of the garden;
I’ve opened Pandora’s box.
The one was like letting the dark in;
The other one tasted like socks.
I’ve opened my eyes to the sorrow;
I’ve closed off my mind to the good.
Today is repeated tomorrow;
Only yesterday teases of “could.”
I’ve fallen down into the ocean;
I’ve dropped the ball into the lake.
I’ve flown too close to the sun;
If only I’d been less awake.
I’ve left the mirror all shattered;
My image seems to’ve gotten stuck.
The truth is much kinder when flattered…
Here’s to seven years of bad luck!
Don’t forget today
In the fog of what should be,
In the fear of what could be;
Don’t allow yourself to turn away.
You’re trying to find perfection;
But life gets no second draft.
Still, you go on thinking
You’re a failure to your craft:
You should have got it right by now,
You should know what to do;
But trying to rewrite it
Won’t make that first draft untrue.
It will be what it will be,
And still there’ll be no second draft;
So why not take a breath and read
The story as it’s meant to be, at last?