You say I’ll become what I think I am —
Your favored mind over matter theory;
But I think what I’ve heard again and again,
And wonder, how doesn’t that apply to me?
My role models are filled with despair;
My benefits of doubt dismissed as fantasy.
I’m told to trust no one —
Now how doesn’t that apply to me?
I’m stubborn, to be sure:
When set to fight, I fear to flee;
But all your laughter at those led —
How doesn’t that apply to me?
Some might call me mediator
For my hate of animosity;
But now like any good diplomat,
Conflict’s all I see.
I have watched several people
Watch the years slip through their hands
And all the days I’m hardly counting
Are grains of the same sand
So, I can say I know the future
And it’s even somewhat true
Because I’ve watched the sands of time
And I’ve seen nothing new.
There was a moment I was visiting,
But only visiting was I;
‘Cause I only dare at quiziting
And the only true word is goodbye.
Don’t read too much into it,
It never does to try;
For who really understands it
Except for never I?
I see you tugging at the threads
And I laugh at my own pain;
Oh, my little fool…
You’ll understand when you’re insane.
I’m not intending to be shallow,
Continue reading “Intentions (explicit)”
But shallow’s what I am;
I don’t want your little war;
I have my own to fight.
Still you battle on, but man, what for?
There’s no end for you in sight.
You make up reasons for the blood to pour;
I just want to pull the tourniquet tight,
And cling to the symbols on my uniform
As I wait and watch my waning might.
“Wicked girl, never waking well;
If you sleep life away, it will always be hell.”
“Stupid girl, never thinking well;
When you make a mistake, it’s not worth it to tell.”
Don’t walk, don’t run
Don’t lay in the sun
Don’t stare at the moon
It’s all gone too soon
You’ll make a mistake
Best not to wake
You’re wrong either way
So what can you say?
I thought they went without saying,
All those kind things I never said;
While all the while you’d be praying
That my kindness might not be dead.
It’s not a solution, not a plan…
Just out of the frying pan —
And if the fire isn’t hot enough,
Then add some extra wood and laugh.
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,
Holding on by staying angry;
You can’t make of life a dream
By staging a nightmare scene.
So please, just try and move away
From this fire that you claim.
Maybe you’ll never be quite free —
But won’t you at least try, for me?
You tell me I’m no fun,
But I think I’ve overdosed on it:
Years spent laughing, joking;
Often feeling none of it.
You tell me I should talk some more,
But what have I to say?
Nothing you would like to hear,
So I think it best I stay away.
You tell me there’s a world out there;
Well, what is that to me?
I am not you, my dear,
Nor will I ever be.
You suggest I should be happy,
That to speak to me you deign;
But if we’re to talk about the weather,
I think I’d rather speak of rain.