The Adventurers

Open the door and let us in!
We’ll crack the kegs and make a din
And then we’re heading out again,
To save the girl and slash the villain.

We’re the best to have when you need a hand;
The finest adventurers in the land!
Sure, things don’t always go as planned…
But it always goes, in the end.

Between us, it’s a four-way share:
There’s me, and then there’s Javier;
And Silvertongue — there’s none more fair —
And of course there’s Reichenbach the Were.

So pray open up and let us in!
We’ll be leaving when it’s morn again;
Off to save the girl and slay the villain —
But first, some ale in this fine inn!

A Tavern In Transylvania

It was after dark when they arrived,
And the whispers followed soon;
Three strangers on a gloomy night —
The night of a full moon.
Dressed in coats and wide-brimmed hats;
Quiet, watchful, grim.
Were they werewolves on the prowl
Or robbers on the lam?
Outside it stormed and thundered;
Inside, plates and tankards clattered.
A wary look, a quiet joke;
Laughter here and there scattered.
The three continued watching;
The rest continued waiting.
The air grew stiff and quiet:
How long would they be staying?
Another man enters the room:
A gentleman quite mellow.
The three disown their seats
And walk over toward the fellow.

But they encounter in their way
A man who’s had enough —
Of drink, and mysterious ways,
And demands answers with a puff.
The three try to explain:
Vampire hunters, so they say.
They’ve tracked him a long while:
That “gentleman” is their prey.
The fellow rises in protest
And cries out in indignation!
Surely he won’t be consigned
To death and mutilation?

The man assents, not today
And rests his hand upon his gun;
Who’s to say the three are not
The real blood-sucking ones?
Murmurs ripple all around:
Superstitions and suspicions;
Then the lights flicker out,
And all’s frantic and vicious.
Pistols, unholstered, are shot blind;
Knives are slashed in fear.
The lights come on again
To a bath of blood and beer.
The gentleman, through it all unscathed,
Makes sure to thank his dying savior;
And note the taste of all this blood
Is something that he’ll savor.