Madness

I see the world in all its madness
Murder, mayhem, loss, and sadness
They follow me and I seek them out
Trying to make the pain and doubt
A price worth paying, a work of art
To mend the pieces of my broken heart

Paint

My mind is painted in abstracts
The smear of my emotions
Twisting ’round like racing tracks
Bitter reds and salty blues
The paints made into potions
Which one shall I choose?

Ugliness

I don’t have the words for what I’m feeling
Or a point to putting it down
Just the tears that drive me
With them towards the ground
There is anger still inside me
That nobody believes
I bite my tongue
I smile when I hate
Nobody ever sees
Is it grief for what I’ve never known
Made easier to carry?
Places I don’t think I’ll ever go
People I should be glad to see
But only make me wary?
Easy to blame it on example
And point the anger towards a witch to burn
But what I’m taught is all irrelevant
I choose what to learn
So I try to take my ugliness
And keep it to myself
But does it really work if it still hurts
While all I trust myself to do
Is absolutely nothing else?

Well

My tears are shaped like words
When everything goes well
Only on my pages
Is where the thing with feathers fell

No one ever notices
And there’s none I’ll ever tell
That I was ever feeling this
When everything goes well

Tornado

If I spoke the language of the weather
I might have more to say
On the swirling, spinning something
Now abiding in my soul

As it stands, it might be better
To keep the forecasts off today
The wind’s a violent nothing
And I cannot find a lull.

Desert Rivers

I should be drowned in rivers
Streams should flow of tears
But currents barely quiver
And I’ve looked away for years.

Some Things, the Years Do Not Change

What lofty words were spoken!
What gentle grace, what vibrant scenes;
Yet if you read them closely,
They’re still veiling the same things.

Some Scars

I’ve watched you leave so often
My heart’s become like steel
Yet underneath, the wound still bleeds;
Some scars never heal.

Not Myself

I haven’t been myself lately
Just an echo of everybody else
I’m half convinced they half hate me
But it may just be they hate themselves

I’ve not been breathing well lately
I hold my breath like everybody else
Only half alive, and half crazy
Waiting for goodness or magic or elves

I’ve been thinking some of hell lately
It’s here with everybody else
The more I hear and the more I see
The deeper the dark inside of me delves

The Lie

All I feel now is the lie
My heart is filled with falsity
Telling me I’m angry
Never telling why

Somewhere is the truth
Anger is convenient
Despair the main ingredient
Mixed with sadness and youth

But truth carries the pain
And knowing doesn’t save me
When I know I’m going crazy
Because how could this be sane

But if this is my deceit
Then I could use a little crazy
Because the only thing to save me
Is to not admit defeat.