For Fear of Being Alone

I know the reasons why;
I know the fear that drives me.
If you leave, then I will cry
But if you stay, then it will blind me

I know the reasons why;
I know the weakness that’s inside me.
I’ve learned well to be shy
But to be seen is so enticing

I know the reasons why;
I know the sorrow that defines me.
I couldn’t tell you why I cry
But I know it’s why I change myself so desperately.

12 thoughts on “For Fear of Being Alone

    1. In denial? Probably not. More likely you’re just healthier. Your emotions, your mind, your soul, has a stronger foundation. You don’t get super personal very often, but I believe you’ve mentioned your parents, and I was of the impression the situation there was pretty okay. People like… Well, me, I think, often come from dysfunctional families — which can range, as I understand it, from full-on abuse to more subtle things; but all of which basically entails the lack of a warm, nurturing environment, instead replaced by a more oppressive one. This lack of a proper foundation leaves a hole; and in desperation to fill it, to have some sort of security, such people often are willing to cling to whatever affection they can find — for better, or (more often) for worse.

      Well… Such is my theory, anyway.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. We are your family now.

    My God, Rachel, what just happened here? Did you get caught up in a cult?


    No matter. There are many flavors of loneliness. Some are beyond our reach, but we’ll take a good shot at salving the others. Plus, we can discuss what’s left.

    How’s the saying go, you know, the one that’s been worn lately to triteness and (way) beyond? “We’re all in this together.” Numbing as it’s become, it does stumble on an essential truth.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nahh, this is nothing like a cult.

      Oh, wait. That’s what a cultist would say, isn’t it?

      Well… Let’s just bypass the poison-drinking, self-immolation, and/or questionable leader money-hoarding, eh?

      As for loneliness… Well, I have nothing to add there. I think you put it quite well. Your word choice, also, I found to be very interesting. “Flavors” of loneliness, indeed. šŸ˜†

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Deliberate choice, as loneliness offers more tastes than does Baskin-Robbins. A few bitter, some strangely comforting, if you want to know the truth.

        I’d love to stay and talk, but the All-Seeing Light commanded us to shave our heads by midnight, remember?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Lol!! Whoops… I passed the deadline. A forgiving All-Seeing Light, I hope…?

          I suppose there can be a certain comfort in certain kinds of loneliness… At the very least, it’s familiar. There’s security in that. Even if it is like having nothing but toast for breakfast, for a year straight… When one would (of course) much rather be having chocolate cake.

          Liked by 1 person

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